How to Find the Right Therapist For You

"How do I find the right therapist?" I am often asked this question and would like to preface my opinions by saying that they are just that – opinions. Therapists are as diverse as their clientele and I presume that all would have something to add to this discussion, or perhaps an entirely opposite perspective. If you are looking for a caring, supportive, and emotionally challenging experience, this is my advice on how to find what you are looking for.

The Basics

1. All therapists are different, but I would say that the primary characteristics of importance in a therapist is that they are present and responsive.

2. Having said that, everyone will be nervous at the beginning of therapy, therapists included, so give yourself a few weeks to settle in. If you feel inclined, talk to the therapist about feeling nervous and take note of their response.

3. Therapy can be funny and light-hearted at times, but you should not feel obliged to impress or entertain a therapist.

4. Therapy can be humorous, intellectual, and emotional, but remember that intellectualism and humor can be used to defend against difficult emotions. Therapists are in the business of emotions, so you may be challenged to access your own at times.

5. A therapist should work with you in order to create an emotionally safe (or “soft”) and challenging environment. Therapists should be trauma-informed.

NOTABLE NOTE:

A relationship with a therapist - ideally - enhances our ability to have relationships in the real world.  A relational therapist encourages honesty, even when it is difficult. Expanding our ability to communicate with one another is a critical component of the therapeutic relationship.

Step 1. Assess your needs.

What do you need and what do you want from therapy? Read the following questions for guidance on your needs and wishes for therapy.

Are you going through a transition? [Life transitions include but are not limited to: moving, starting new jobs/projects, dating, marriage, divorce, identity/gender/sexuality explorations or transitions, family changes or challenges, illness, death or any loss.]

Are you a member of an oppressed or marginalized group or identity? Is it important to you that your therapist is a part of this group or has special training around your identity?

Will it be difficult for you to speak to a stranger for the first time? What might help you tolerate speaking with someone who you don’t yet know?

Have you had therapeutic experiences in the past that did NOT work? What was it about the experience(s) that didn’t work for you?

Are you depressed, anxious, sad, or do you have a dominating emotion that comes to mind when you think about discussing your challenges?

Have you consulted with a medical professional and if so, what do they recommend?

Do you just want to talk and have someone listen? Do you want to explore your past or focus on the present? Or both? Do you want to be challenged or supported unconditionally?

Do you want to talk about goals and be accountable to your therapist in attaining them?

Do you seek structure or freedom in therapy?

Are you comfortable with a particular age group, and why? How would your experience be enhanced or compromised with a difference in age?

What are you able to afford to pay for therapy?

Step 2. Find a recommended therapist

Word of mouth is a great way to find a therapist. Ask a trusted friend if they know of a good therapist. Therapists also advertise and promote themselves online. There are some websites that verify the credentials of the therapists who are advertising (psychologytoday.com, goodtherapy.org) so make sure that the therapists you read about have credentials.

Money is an uncomfortable topic for most people, but prospective therapists should be clear about charges when asked. Some therapists work on a “sliding scale” basis, meaning that they have different rates depending on financial need. If you are in need of financial assistance, think about what you are able to pay and ask the therapist if the rate would be acceptable.

Credentials:

LPC-i and LPC – These therapists are master’s level professional counselors who are seeking or have obtained a clinical licensure. You can expect to pay more to see an LPC than an LPC-Intern.

LMSW and LCSW – These therapists are master’s level social workers who are seeking or have obtained a clinical licensure. You can expect to pay more to see an LCSW than an LMSW.

Psy.D. or PhD. - Psychologists are doctorate level clinicians who perform therapy and also focus on psychological assessment or testing. Psy.D. is a newer degree plan focusing on clinical psychotherapy as well as research and testing. You can expect to pay more for a doctorate level clinician than an LPC or an LCSW.

M.D. or D.O. - Psychiatrists are medical doctors who are primarily focused on psychobiological assessment and medication management for patients. Some psychiatrists are trained in psychotherapeutic techniques but most have little training in psychotherapy. You can expect to pay the most for a psychiatrist since he or she has a medical license and can prescribe medication.

You may be able to read a bio on the therapist that may help you get a feel for his or her personality and theoretical leanings, but having a conversation is the best way to assess goodness of fit.

Use the questions from Step 1 to guide you in expressing your needs and ask about their training, specialties, and areas of practice. Despite the traditional hierarchy, you may find your needs anywhere on the spectrum of therapists.

Step 3: Get to know the therapist

In order to assess fit, it can be helpful to understand how different therapists operate using a wide range of modalities. Read up on types of therapies and you may find that one resonates with you.

Psych Central's article on Psychotherapy - check out the types of therapy on the left index

Ask questions and name your needs and desires when possible.  

As always, take care.